I've Been Thinking About It
by ValentinaStray
Summary: Bella needs to move on with her life. But how can she when she's too scared to cross the lines seperating friendship and potentially something more?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first FF so please be nice :) **

**The first few chapters of this will most likely be relatively slow. I suck real bad at action writing so I can't promise it'll be jam packed full of action and fight scenes, but if the story calls for it, I'll give it a go. I really love the relationship between Jacob and Bella and I'll be working on that a lot :) **

**Suggestions and criticisms are welcomed (especially the suggestions, I'm famous for getting writers block) **

**The title of this story came to me whilst writing the first chapter. ****I had my iTunes on shuffle and the song 'Been thinking about it' by Newton Faulkner came on. A few of the lines made my ears perk up. '**_**If I like you, and you like me. Why the hell are we wasting out time. Are you too afraid to cross that line?' **_** To me, it fitted quite lovely in this story. I just thought I'd tell you, not that it's very interesting but I know if I ever get stuck on my writing, listening to music helps :P **

**All characters aren't owned by me. Stephenie Meyer owns them, I just intend to mould them in my own way. Still totally all hers though, so no harm done**

**

* * *

**

**Bella POV**

The piercing sound of my alarm clock shook me from yet another nightmare.

Ever since he left me every night's sleep has been consumed by horrible dreams, ending in me screaming at the top of my lungs. Forcing myself to sleep every night was like a battle with myself, knowing full well there'd be a point in the night where I would be being shaken awake by Charlie.

Him leaving hasn't just affected me. It's affected Charlie, who has to put up with me while trapped in this zombie state. It's effected my school friends, who've had to keep up the charade that I'm still a member of their group, despite the fact I've been too distant to even attempt to converse with.

I crawled out of bed and a wave of dread swept over me as I remembered it was a Saturday. Weekdays meant school which meant I could busy myself with classes and homework. Weekends meant I'd have to find ways of filling up the day myself.

I rocked onto the balls of my feet and stretched so I was fully stood up then walked across the hall and into the bathroom where I stripped down, started the water running, then stood under the cascade of warming water. I let my head fall under the spray, washing away the nightmare from this morning. After a few minutes of gathering myself together I exited the shower and got myself ready for the day ahead which would consist of pretty much nothing.

I walked downstairs with minimal injury and walked through to the kitchen where I found a note from Charlie:

_No need to cook tonight, we're going to the Blacks for dinner. _

_Jacob asked if you would like to hang out beforehand, I think it's not a bad idea._

_, Dad_

I sighed. Well, dinner at the Blacks gave me something to do today but I wasn't over the moon about it. I tend to keep to myself these days, I rarely socialise outside of school. Infact, I rarely socialise _inside_ school.

I was debating whether or not to take up Jacob's offer of seeing him before dinner. He was my best friend pretty much since birth. Our dad's have always been best friends and when I used to spend my summers here Jacob was the only person I ever hung out with. But we grew apart when I stopped coming to Forks every summer and we started to reconnect slightly when I returned but now that I'm a shell of a person because of _him,_ I haven't spoken to Jacob in months.

The shrill ring of the phone interrupted my train of thought. I reached out an arm and lifted it from the holder.

"Hello?" I said very unenthusiastically

"Bella? Hey Bells, its Jacob" he sounded just as chirpy as I remembered him to be. He was the type of person that was near impossible to bring down.

"Hi Jacob. What can I do for you?" I walked away from the phone base and leant against the kitchen counter.

"I don't know if Charlie told you but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today. I have nothing planned and I thought we might as well, as we're seeing each other later tonight. What do you say?" I hated how hopeful he sounded.

"Erm, I'm not sure, I have a lot of things planned for today" I lied.

"Like what? Maybe I could come there? I'll stay out of your way while you do your stuff. Then we'll hang out" he still sounded hopeful.

"Listen, Jacob, I –"

"Oh come on, we haven't hung out in forever" he reminded me of a child unable to take no as an answer.

I sighed. "Okay. But I'll come to yours" I really didn't want to be cooped up inside this house all day, even if it is with someone else.

"Great! See ya soon Bells!" and with that, he hung up.

I moaned and pushed myself off the counter and leant out to replace the phone. In a way I was thankful that Jacob had invited me, it gave me something to do today and it would give Charlie a break from constantly worrying about me. And I could keep up appearances when it comes to Jacob, make him think I want to be there and I'm a normal person.

I laughed to myself when I thought about how I don't class myself as normal.

I poured myself a bowl of cereal and hunched over it as I ate. A part of me was slightly looking forward to seeing Jacob. In some ways I wanted to release myself from this zombie state and maybe socialising for a day could be the push I need to bring myself back to the real world. But another part of me really didn't want to go today. I've been so used to moping around the house for these past months that I'm afraid being outside would harbour reminders of _him. _I had too many reminders at school as it is and I wasn't prepared to deal with the gaping hole in my chest today.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, placing my bowl in the sink and taking my keys from the hook. The most Jacob deserves is my effort to see him.

* * *

**Like it said, it may be a little slow but I promise good things to come.**

**Being an 'M' rated story there will be little slices of Lemons. But not in a degrading, pornographic way. It'll be in a decent, tasteful way :)**

**Thank you **

**Of course, I'd really appreciate Reviews. I'd love to hear what you think so far. Not that there's much at the moment but still :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**For the first week or two of this story being published, I'm likely to post chapters more frequently. I crave reviews and while the ideas for chapters are in my head, I also crave to write them down as quickly as I can :P**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**

* * *

**

**Jacob POV**

I just got off the phone with Bella. She was actually coming round.

I haven't seen her in what feels like a lifetime. She used to be my best friend and lately I've been a little down realising she isn't anymore. So I knew I had to get her back. Now that that Cullen guy was out of the picture, maybe she could find more time to hang out with me. I really wanted her to be my best friend again, I missed her like crazy.

I debated what to do before Bella arrived. There wasn't really much for me to do, apart from maybe work a little on the Rabbit. I picked up the keys from the hook by the back door and made my way round to the garage. I've been finding myself coming here during most of my spare time, I've always loved cars and everything about them and working on them calms me in a way, not that I really need calming, there really isn't enough going on to cause me to stress out.

My mind kept wondering from what I was working to Bella. I was tempted to call her and see what tine she was coming but I didn't want to seem too pushy. I already convinced her to come over. The reason I haven't seen her in so long, apparently, is because of that Cullen guy. Dad said he just left one day and crushed her in the process. I guess she really loved him. I never really met the guy but from what he did to Bella and the way Dad doesn't seem to talk too friendly of him, in a way made me despise the guy. Anyone who was capable of leaving an amazing girl like Bella in that way can't be a good guy. And I wasn't too sure why Dad never seemed to like him or any of the Cullens for that matter but there has to be a good reason.

My mind returned to the real world when I heard the familiar sound of a shaky engine parking outside the house. I slid out from under the Rabbit and pretty much sprinted to meet Bella. I saw the red truck that my Dad had given Bella immediately. I was the one who fixed up that piece of junk so it would be decent enough to give to her, I was pretty surprised it was still running. That's when I saw her clamber out from the driver's door. She saw me and raised a hand to say hello. I couldn't help but grin and jog over to her. I scooped her off her feet and span her around in a tight hug.

"Bella! Where the hell have you been! God I've missed you" I couldn't contain my excitement to see her, it had been so long.

"Hey Jacob. Mind putting me down now?" I grinned again and placed her gently on her feet. I placed my hands on her shoulder and just looked at her. She had her long brown hair thrown over one shoulder and she wore a baggy hoody and jeans. She looked so simple yet so beautiful at the same time. I pulled her in for another, less enthusiastic, hug. I felt her hands grip onto the back of my shirt as she returned the hug. "Missed ya too Jacob".

**Bella POV**

It was true. I have missed him. He was always so warming and he constantly had a smile plastered across his face. Maybe hanging out with him today would do me good.

He finally released the hug and looked down at me, smiling. He must have grown at least half a foot since the last time I saw him. He made me feel tiny stood next to him. And he had defiantly buffed up. A lot. I looked up and studied his face. He looked so much older, so much more mature. His long, black hair covered his shoulders and his eyes glowed. I couldn't tear myself away from his eyes. They were so friendly.

"Come on then Bells, what do you wanna do?"

I shrugged in reply.

He laughed a little. "Okay then. We could go to the beach, watch a movie? Anything you want"

I shrugged again. "What were you doing before I got here?"

"Just working on the Rabbit but that would be really boring for you"

"No it won't, let's do that" I looked up at him. He had on eyebrow raised as if to ask me 'are you sure?' I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him in the direction he came from when I got here.

I found an old sofa in the corner of the garage to sit on while I watch Jacob work. I knew that if we went for a walk or something, he'd be bored with me, I haven't been great company to keep for anyone lately, so I knew if he was working then there would be no way I could bore him.

We made small talk, mostly about our childhood. We reminisced about some of the summers I used to spend here. I preferred keeping the conversation away from myself; occasionally Jacob would ask what I've been doing since the last time we spoke which would cause me to remember everything and the pain in my chest would start to pulse.

"Bells? You okay?" he looked at me questionably. I had my knees brought up to my chin and I cradled them with my arms, trying to stop myself from falling apart. I nodded at him and attempted to give him a convincing smile. Of course, he didn't take it; he simply looked at me with concern then turned his head back to what he was doing. I made sure we kept the topic of the conversation totally away from me. I learnt a little about a few of Jacob's friends and his school. I found he was a lot easier to talk to then I thought. If there was ever a silence, it was comfortable, not awkward or uneasy.

We kept the small talk going until we were interrupted by the sound of Jacob's stomach.

"Hungry?"

He looked at me from under the bonnet of the car and grinned. He stood up and wiped his hands on a nearby rag then reached out a hand towards me, asking me to take it. I placed my hand in his so he could pull me up from my seat but let go of it once I had my balance. He looked down at me and smiled. I was finding his smile slightly contagious and felt the corners of my lips curl just a little.

Once Jacob was fed and happy we crashed out on the sofa. I curled up and rested my head against the arm of the sofa while Jacob flicked through the TV channels. He settled on some action movie that was showing. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and closed them for a little while. I could feel Jacob watching me every now and then which was beginning to make me feel slightly uneasy but I was much too tired to care. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into sleep.

**Jacob POV**

I looked over at her again. She had her eyes closed and she was breathing softly. I leant over her slightly to see if she was asleep which she seemed to be. I sat back in my seat again and concentrated on the movie. If it was anyone else, I'd be a little pissed that they fell asleep while we were hanging out but in Bella's case I really didn't mind. I knew she was getting tired and when I first saw her, I could tell she hadn't been sleeping well. Her eyes looked dark and heavy.

I felt Bella start to stir and I took a quick glance over at her again. She was obviously dreaming, her facial expressions changed and she was mumbling words that I couldn't make out. She was starting to fidget more and more frantically and her mumbles become more and more distressed. I moved from my seat and knelt down next to her. She was frowning and her mumbles started to become more clear, she seemed to be saying 'no, no, please, no' over and over again. I shook her gently to try and wake her from her obvious nightmare.

"Bella. Bells, wake up" I shook her a little more until she awoke with squeak. I couldn't help but smile as she stared blankly at me. Her breathing started to slow down and she moved onto her back where she stretched and ran her fingers through her hair. "Bad dream?" I stayed knelt next to her and I kept my hands in my lap, I was so tempted to brush her hair from her face.

She nodded and looked at me apologetically. "Erm, sorry. I get them a lot. I'm kinda used to them now"

"Why'd you get them a lot?"

She looked away from me and shook her head. Her eyes started to water slightly and she apologised once more then sat up. I watched as she ran her hands through her hair again and tried to wipe the few tears running down her cheek slyly.

I opened my arms out to invite her into a hug. She stared at my open arms for a few seconds then shifted around so she was facing me. She took a few more seconds before snaking her arms around my neck, engaging the hug. I squeezed her lightly and buried my face in her neck and I felt her squeeze me back. I smiled to myself as I thought I could have my best friend back.

* * *

**I'm not too sure if I like this chapter. I'm not too sure if I like the way I write. Hmm, oh well.**

**Reviews would be loved, I could do with a few nice things being said about my writing (if there is anything nice to be said about it of course) to boost my confidence with it.**

**Thanks guys X :)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**I've had nothing to do all day so I snuck in another chapter :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does :)**

**

* * *

**

**Bella POV**

I started to smile again. I wasn't making excuses when I had the opportunity to leave the house. I wasn't dreading each day. I started to open up again with my friends at school. I was slowly but surely coming out of my zombie stage and a part of me had Jacob to thank for that.

Ever since we hung out for the first time in ages two months ago I've been seeing changed in myself. I saw him nearly everyday now and I felt whole around him. Whenever I wasn't in his presence I didn't feel right, like I could fall into my depression over again. I almost felt selfish; I was using Jacob to keep myself together, without him I wouldn't have any reason to start smiling again. He was bringing me back to the real world and reminding me I'm appreciated.

I looked at the clock on the wall. It read 10:32; I was expecting Jacob any minute now. He was coming round while our dad's went fishing for the day and as usual, I was looking forward to his company. I sat on a stool next to the kitchen counter resting my chin in the palm of my hand. When I wasn't with Jacob anything could easily remind me of _him_. It was worse at school. I realised that I had to open up to my friends again to busy my mind, to stop me from looking across the room to where _he_ sat. I bowed my head and wrapped my arms around myself. The pain in my chest started to tug lightly at the thought of him. No matter how much I fooled myself that my life is changing, that I'm getting over him and that I'm okay without him, deep down I know that I never will be okay and his presence is still here, despite the fact I try to forget.

I series of knocks on the door jerked me from my thoughts. I sprinted to the door and practically threw it open to find Jacob filling up most of the frame. He grinned at me, the smile that made me forget everything. I smiled back and walked back to the kitchen, signalling him to follow.

"Any plans for today?" he said while helping himself to the contents of the fridge.

I shrugged and hopped onto the counter next to the fridge, watching him continue his search for something edible. "We could work some more on the Rabbit?"

He poked his head of the fridge, his mouth full of leftover pizza. "What do you mean we? I do all the work" he stocked up on a handful of pizza then closed the fridge door with his bum. "Besides, that can't be any fun for you. You just sit there watching me" he walked over to me, pushed me off the counter then stole my seat.

"Well then what do you want to do?"

He shrugged and took another over-sized mouthful of pizza. "Movie?"

I nodded and skipped over to the sofa, throwing myself on it. I pointed to the variety of movies that filled the majority of the bookcase, telling Jacob to pick one out. After a few minutes of disagreements on which movie to watch, we settled on _Con Air_. I never really liked it but I knew Jacob did.

Once Jacob had put on the movie he sat on the floor with his back against the sofa seeing as I was spread across it, leaving him no room unless he moved me. I had no interest in the movie so I layed on my stomach and fiddled with Jacobs hair with the arm I wasn't using as a head support. I twirled a strand of his long hair between my fingers, braiding and knotting it. He let his head fall back so it was resting on the sofa. I shifted round so I was sat on the sofa with my legs crossed, enabling me to mindlessly play with his hair. I found it quite relaxing, running my fingers through it.

Jacob reached out and took one of my hands into his, playing with my fingers. I took my hand back and placed it on my lap, looking at him. He twisted his body around to face me, his expression seemed quite hurt.

"What's wrong?"

I looked down and twiddled my thumbs. "I'm sorry"

Jacob pushed himself up onto the sofa to sit next to me. "Aren't you comfortable with me or something?" he reached out a hand again and placed it on mine in a reassuring way.

"I am. I just… I…"

"He really messed you up didn't he?" I turned to face him, shocked at what he just said. "I mean, you used to be so warm, it wasn't a challenge to make you smile and you weren't afraid of human contact. I've just missed you Bells. And it's like he's totally messed you up, totally changed you". The hole in my chest started to pound, I took my hand back from Jacob again so I could cradle myself. I felt my eyes starting to water and I tried to hold them back but failed. Jacob placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me towards his chest. I didn't move from my cradle position, I simply let myself fall sideways into him. I thought Jacob would be able to make me forget, I thought I'd be safe around him but even he can't do the impossible. "I'm sorry Bella. I'm just angry at what he did to you. But Bells, I'd never leave you, believe me when I say I'm always here for you. Always" I looked up at him, his eyes looked so sincere. I couldn't help but cry a little more. I've been told before that I'd never be alone, that _he'd _never leave me.

Jacob placed a hand under my chin and lifted it up so our eyes met. He rested his forehead against mine and sighed. He let his thumb caress my face, running along my cheeks, stroking under my eyes and outlining my lips. My heart started to race. I was scared. I didn't want this. I didn't want him to think this was okay, to be so close to me, to touch me so affectionately. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed myself off him.

I kept my hands on his chest and bowed my head. "I'm sorry Jake; I'm just not… okay. I'm not good to be around. I'll just bring you down with me."

"I just promised I'd never leave you didn't I? You wont bring me down. But I bet I'll be able to bring you up. Cheer you up, make you my Bella again."

I genuinely smiled at him. I didn't want him to be stuck with me, to be stuck with the state I'll never get out of. But I was selfish and knew I'd be so much worse without him.

"Jake… you're really burning up" his temperature had just risen insanely. I moved my hand from his chest and put it on his forehead. "Are you okay?"

He looked at me oddly. "Yeah I think I'm okay." I could see he was visibly starting to shake.

"Jacob seriously, you don't seem okay, you're shaking"

He stood up swiftly and stared at his trembling hands. "Erm… I think I should go home. I'll call you later."

I looked up at him in concern, reaching out for his arm. He bent down and kissed my forehead before opening the front door and leaving. I sat in the same position for a while, worried about Jacob. He must have come down with something but that was really quick.

He didn't call me that night. Charlie came home and said Billy mentioned Jacob didn't look good when they got back from fishing. I couldn't do anything but wait for his call. I didn't want to call him and disturb him if he was trying to rest so I said to myself that I'd call him tomorrow after school if he didn't call me first.

* * *

**My story is starting to come along nicely I think. I'm actually developing the story line :P**

**As always, suggestions, criticisms and reviews are always loved.**

**I'd love reviews more though :P**

**Thank you X **


	4. Chapter 4

**Just to let you know, I'm updating every day at the moment, but that wont last soon :P I'll started updating every few days after that ^_^ just to let you know :)**

**Oo and, in this story, Quil has phased before Jacob. So he's all wolfy and shizz :B**

**I do not own anything to do with Twilight :)**

**Oh, and by the time I finished this chapter, I was much too tired to proof-read. So I apologize for any silly mistakes :)  
**

**

* * *

**

**Jacob POV**

This was breaking my heart. She called me everyday asking for me but my dad had to turn her down, tell her I'm ill, tell her I'm busy. I was hurting her, I was breaking every promise I ever made to her and I couldn't do anything about it. I had thought of every loophole possible to get out of this, to tell her what's going on, but I couldn't think of any that would work, Sam would stop me before I tried.

I was still getting used to everything. It was all new. I had had so much information drilled into me in one go I was still in shock. It had been three weeks since I left Bella with my 'fever'. I had to push her away, Sam said it was for the best, that it would be protecting her but this wasn't protecting her, this was hurting her, maybe more then it was hurting me. I didn't know how the rest of them did it. I didn't know how Embry could go to school everyday, so casual with the massive secret he had to carry. I didn't know how Quil could look at me, knowing I could be next.

"Dude. Hey Jake. Helloo" Embry's waving hand in front of my face broke me from my daydream. "You alright, man?"

I nodded and rested my chin in the palm of my hand. We were sat at our usual table at lunch. Now that I had phased and was a member of the pack I had gone through some obvious physical changes and I was getting stares at school daily and I could feel so many pairs of eyes on me as I sat there.

I thought back to Bella and if there was anyway of letting her know what happened. I thought I could simply go to her house and tell her but that's not how I want her to find out. I thought of showing her, but Sam would kill me. Then I thought I could somehow get her to figure it out but there'd be no way she could figure out something this massive and unbelievable.

"You're thinking about Bella again aren't you?" Quil was starting to get annoyed with my mind constantly being focused on Bella; at least he got a break from my thoughts when we weren't phased. "You do know that there would be no way Sam would let you see her unless she was your imprint or something" he shrugged as if it could never happen.

"I don't get it. Why is it I can go to school safely but I can't see my best friend?"

"I thought I was your best friend" Embry mumbled with his head down.

I huffed and fell back in my seat.

"Come on. None of us actually expect you to keep to Sam's rules, even Sam. We're quite surprised you've lasted this long without seeing her. Yeah Sam'll kill you once he finds out but he can't do anything about it"

Quil was right. He can't stop me. I'm not that dangerous, I'm never going to hurt Bella. But at the moment I'm hurting her by not seeing her.

I stood up and practically threw my chair from underneath me then ran out the lunch room shouting back to Quil and Embry "cover for me if you see Sam"

**Bella POV**

He had broken every promise he ever made for me. If it was possible, I was worse than when _he_ left. I called at every opportunity I had everyday. Jacob never answered the phone; it was always Billy making excuses for him. I didn't understand why I couldn't see him; I didn't understand what Billy had against me. I didn't know what I did wrong.

I went back to my zombie state, drifting through each day, through each class. Then I'd go home, get rejected by Jacob's dad then I'd cry myself to sleep, then I'd wake up screaming from another nightmare. Before Jacob left me I hadn't had a nightmare in a month, I thought I could live a normal life again free from fear of sleeping. But my best friend, the second person I ever really needed left me and I was starting to think whether I deserved any friends, anyone who made me feel good about myself, anyone who I loved, anyone who loved me. I didn't deserve anything. Everyone left me and for no reason. Jacob didn't even have the decency to say goodbye.

I rested my arms on the desk and placed my head in them. I stopped trying in classes; I could never get my mind to focus. All my teachers had pretty much given up on me but listening to them was the only way I could keep my mind away from the things that hurt me.

I didn't even register the knock on the door or the fact that the person stood there was asking for me. It was only until I heard Laurens shrill voice flutter the words "Oh my god!" that I looked up. Stood in the doorway was a guy, around the age of 21, with short, choppy black hair. He was wearing a tight black tee and didn't leave much to the imagination, his chest was perfectly sculpted and the sleeves of his tee struggled to cover his arm muscles. He had baggy blue jeans that had various holes and wear-and-tear rips in. I looked up to study his face, asking myself if it was as perfect as the rest of him and then I realized who it was.

It was Jacob. He was resting on the doorframe with one hand. He seemed quite fidgety, his feet wouldn't stay still. He was staring at me, a smile spread across his face but his eyes didn't match his smile, they looked hurt. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, almost making his expression look relieved.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I couldn't believe it was him. He looked so different, so mature. But I couldn't believe he was stood in front of me, in front of my whole class. I looked around the room to see everyone staring at him, especially Lauren who was famous for getting her claws on the hottest guys.

"Bella. I don't have all day" the teacher signaled for me to go outside with Jacob but I couldn't move, I couldn't believe this was happening.

"Bells?" Jacob started to reach out a hand towards me, then thought twice and placed it in his pocket. He turned around and left the room. I scuttled from my chair and followed him, not wanting to lose him again.

He was leaning against the wall in the corridor, smiling at me.

"Oh Bella" he moved from his spot and crushed me against his chest. I couldn't help myself; I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him as tightly as possible.

"Jacob what's going on? You left me. Why?" my words were turning into sobs as I cried hopelessly into his shoulder.

"I want to tell you so bad Bella. I can't keep hurting you like this. I need you to know" he held me tighter.

I pushed him away and stared intensely at him. "What the hell Jake? Why the hell are you doing this to me? You promised. What did I do? What did I do wrong? I just… don't understand"

"Bella please. I need you to know that I didn't want this. I can't help it. I've changed Bells"

"No shit Jake. Look at you! How could you have aged three years in the space of three weeks! What, are you on steroids? Look at you! Is… is that a tattoo?"

He tried to pull his sleeve over his right arm to cover the tattoo. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Although, I guess you're used to monsters right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know about the Cullens, Bells."

I stood dumbstruck, not knowing what to say. "I… I don't know what you mean"

"You do. Can I see you tonight? Can you come round? I might be able to explain what's been going on"

"And what? Get rejected by your dad again?"

He looked up and down the corridor then at me. "Go get your bag. I'll meet you in the parking lot" and with that, he walked down the corridor and left.

I ran back into the classroom, threw my things in my bag then placed it over my shoulder and ran out again without explaining to anyone where I was going. I didn't even know where I was going.

I jogged into the parking lot to meet Jacob who was sat on a motorcycle, holding out a helmet. I looked at him questionably. He nodded at me.

"Where are we going?" he shrugged in reply.

"Beach?"

I smiled and cautiously climbed on the bike behind Jacob. "Where did you get this?"

"Build it" he revved up the bike and told me to put on the helmet. I did as he said then tightened my arms around his waist.

**Jacob POV**

I drove Bella down to first beach and sat her on a large piece of driftwood. We sat there in silence for a while and I was tempted so many times to take her hand or pick her up and cradle her on my lap.

"Jacob? Why are we here" her eyes were still red and blotchy from where she had been crying so much. It really broke my heart to see her like this.

"I came to apologize for being such a prick. But believe me when I say it wasn't my choice. Sam was right in some ways, at first it would have been too dangerous to see you, I would have been too unstable. But I'm fine now and I couldn't bear to be apart from you any longer." I took a quick glance to see her expression. Her eyes started to water again and I told her everything.

I told her how my high fever was me changing. How there's a gene in a few of us and it's activated whenever there's a vampire in the area. How we're protectors. I reminded her of the story about 'the cold ones', the one I told her when we first hung out on this beach. I told her about Sam Uley and the rest of the pack, Paul, Jared, Quil and Embry and how they've gone through the same thing I have. How there's possibly more of us. I told her about our gifts of seeing into each others minds when we're phased. I told her about Sam and his fiancée, Emily, and how he scarred her horribly when he got out of control which is why it was dangerous for me to see her when I first phased and it's the reason I had to shut her out for a while.

I looked back at her. She hadn't said a word while I explained everything.

"Bella, say something. Please"

She sat there with her mouth open, looking for words. Tears fell from her eyes again, she turned to me and hugged me, squeezing me as tightly as she could, sobbing into my shirt.

"Oh Jake, I've missed you so much" I was so confused.

"So… the whole, me turning into a giant wolf issue doesn't bother you?" I thought she'd be running away by now. But instead she shook her head and buried her face in my chest. "Wow, you're good with weird" I kissed the top of her head and we just sat there for a while, occasionally making small talk but never about what I just told her. "Sam's going to murder me because I just told you everything"

Bella shrugged. "I don't care. I have my Jacob back. Right?" she looked up at me, her eyes still red.

I nodded and smiled "Right"

* * *

**Sorry if the end was a bit rushed, I'm really tired and it's just gone one in the morning. I'm not sure why I'm still awake :P**

**Thank you for the few reviews I've had, I really appreciate it.**

**More reviews are welcomed, as are suggestions.**

**Thank you 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own aaannyything to do with Twilight. It would be awesome if I did though :P**

**

* * *

**

**Bella POV**

We continued to sit on the beach for about an hour. I should have gone back to school but I really didn't want to be away from Jacob. I had been without him for three weeks and I was finally feeling whole again sat next to him with his arm around me. He promised me, yet again, that he wouldn't leave me again, that he doesn't care what Sam Uley says, he can't leave me. I was scared to believe him. If he did leave again, that would leave me falling to pieces just like before.

Jacob stood up and pulled me with him. "Where are we going?"

"To mine. I'm hungry"

"You're always hungry" Jacob wound his fingers with mine as we walked back to his bike. I relaxed a little more, not taking my hand away. Being away from Jacob all this time made me realise how much I needed him and the least I could do was try to open up to him, let him hold my hand, not hesitate when he opened his arms out towards me.

I clambered on the bike behind Jacob. If Charlie knew I was riding a bike he'd ground me for life. I snaked my arms around Jacobs's chest, holding on tight. I still wasn't used to the way he'd grown. He was unbelievable tall now; at least another foot and his clothes were close to tearing because of how much muscle he had gained. I was sad about his hair. I ran my hand up to his head and combed my fingers through it. He turned back to face me a smiled.

"I'm still getting used to how short it is. It's a bit weird" he smiled again then ruffled his choppy hair with his hands.

"I loved it long. Why'd you cut it?"

I felt him chuckle. "When I'm phased, the length of my fur is the same length as my hair when I'm human. So it was a little awkward having my hair the length it was before" he grinned then started the bike. I tightened my grip around his body then rested my head against his back.

There were a few cars in Jacob's driveway when we got to his house. He shut of the bike and climbed off then helped me with my helmet.

"I'm sorry, I think Sam and the rest of the pack is here" he took my hand and walked me up to the porch where we were met by Billy. He nodded at me and smiled, then placed a hand on the small of my back as comfort as we walked inside.

It was weird to see Jacobs tiny living room filled with a bunch of oversized men. They stared at me so I took a step to the side, trying to hide behind Jacob.

Jacob cleared his throat then introduced me to the pack. "You've met Sam before" I nodded. He's the one that found me in the woods the night _he _left. Sam looked at me sternly; he looked a little too serious. "That's Paul and Jared" Jared nodded at me and smiled, Paul just stared like Sam. "And I've told you about those two before. Quil and Embry" both of them waved and smiled, Quil winked and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Jacob." Sam tilted his head towards the back door, asking Jacob to follow him outside. Jacob sighed and kissed me on the forehead before joining him.

I felt a little awkward standing there now without Jacob. "Hey, Bella. Over here" Embry patted the free seat next to him. I looked at Billy who smiled and nodded. I joined Embry on the tiny sofa. "So you're Bella Swan. Trust me when I say we've heard a lot about you"

"Yeah. Jake's mentioned you guys too."

"How is Sam going to let him get away with this? I mean it'd be okay if she was his imprint but she's not!" I don't think Paul liked me, he never took his eyes away from me, he kept frowning and huffing.

"Shut up man! This is Bella Swan! She's practically his imprint even though she's not!" I didn't notice Jared sneak off to the kitchen then return with armfuls of food. I sat on my hands uncomfortably, I wasn't sure what they were talking about and I felt as if I shouldn't be there.

"And an imprint is?" I felt like I needed to say something.

"He didn't tell you?"

I shook my head and looked around the room self-consciously. Jared and Embry looked at each other. "Ask Jake. I think that's something he should explain" Embry placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. I smiled at him just before Jacob and Sam walked back in. "Hey hey! You're alive" Jacob hit Embry around the head and they started to laugh.

Jacob walked over to me, picked me up, sat down where I was sitting and placed me on his lap. I scooted about a bit until I was sat more towards his knees rather than his actual lap but he kept pulling me towards him so I was a lot closer.

Everybody instantly turned to Sam once he cleared his throat and started to talk. "I just explained to Jacob the situation with the vampire in the area. I thought I should let you guys know t—"

"What!" I interrupted Sam. "What vampire? Is it one of the Cullens?"

"No." Jacob's voice was stern, as was his expression. His eyes didn't meet mine; he kept them down, staring at the floor.

"She isn't one of the Cullens. She's a redhead, we've never seen her before but she's been going in and out of the area for the past couple of weeks. We've chased her away every time. We're not sure why she's here but she won't be staying much longer with us around"

I couldn't register much of what Sam was saying. "Victoria" I whispered so it was barely audible but everyone seemed to hear me. "She… she's here for me. Ed… erm… Edward killed her mate" I started to feel slightly dizzy and I was finding it hard to breathe. I had just said his name for the first time since he left. The pain in my chest was unbearable. I started to gasp for air; tears started streaming from my eyes.

"Jacob. Is it okay if Bella stays here for the night? Now that we know what the redhead wants, I don't think we should leave Bella alone. We'll talk about what else we're going to do later but for the meantime, I think we should leave." Jacob nodded at Sam's words and stood up. He placed me on my feet and opened the door for the guys. I was surprised when Quil came up behind me and hugged me tightly. I smiled widely as Jacob shouted at him to leave.

"I'll call Charlie and let him know you're here" Billy wheeled past me and patted me on the arm. I thanked him then turned to Jacob who had his back to the front door.

"Sam wasn't too mad at me. Ya know, for revealing pretty much all our secrets to you. I don't think he actually expected me to keep quiet about it" he smiled the smile I loved. The one that made me forget everything. When he smiled that smile it was like there were no vampires, no werewolves, no threats, just him. He pushed himself off the door and marched towards the kitchen. "I forgot that I'm hungry"

I leaned against the kitchen wall watching him bend over and search through the bottom cupboards. I watched every muscle flex as he moved things about and opened doors. He stood up and reached for things in the top cupboards. His shirt lifted a little every time he extended an arm revealing a little of his stomach and the small of his back. He was always beautiful before becoming a wolf but now he was simply magnificent.

"Looks Bells, I know I'm sexy but you don't have to stare that much" he looked over his shoulder at me and grinned wildly, giving me a cheeky wink.

I laughed and folded my arms. "You're a little too cocky now aren't ya?"

"I've always been cocky. It's just, I can get away with it now that I'm gorgeous" he grinned again and laughed.

"Yeah… that's totally what you are" I laughed once again and walked through to the living room and spread out across the sofa closely followed by Jacob and a massive plate of whatever he could find that was edible. He pushed my legs off the sofa and sat down.

"You don't need to worry about the whole vampire thing. We're made for this sort of stuff. Literally" he said in-between mouthfuls of food.

"I'm worried about you. She's really strong. I don't want you or any of the others getting hurt" I sat up and stole a piece of bread and butter from Jacob's mountain of food.

"Have some faith in us please" he laughed "she's no match for us. Trust me"

I started to relax after a while. I believe Jacob when he said the pack could handle it but there was still a chance any of then could get hurt and it would be my fault.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?" he placed the now empty plate on the floor and turned to face me.

"When everyone was talking earlier, they were saying how I'm not your 'imprint'. What is that?" he broke eye contact from me and stared at the floor.

"Erm. It's a wolf thing" he started rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "It's sort of a way of finding your soulmate I guess. When a member of that pack sees his imprint for the first time, they kind of click. After that, it's near impossible for them to be apart. Sam said it's a way of keeping the wolf gene alive. It's usually quite rare. Sam's imprinted on his fiancé, Jared on a girl at school called Kim. It's a little weird in ways, even Quil's imprinted, it was on Emily's niece. The problem is she's two" Jacob looked at me finally.

I don't know why, but I was a little upset that I wasn't Jacob's imprint. But then I remembered that Jared said I practically was.

"You okay?" Jacob leaned over so he was looking me completely. I nodded.

I heard Billy cough from the edge of the living room. "Charlie's fine with you staying. If he asks, you slept in separate rooms. I can't be bothered arguing with Jacob to make him sleep on the couch, I'll only lose" and with that, he wheeled out of the room and I assume he went into his own room.

Jacob stood up, picked the plate off the floor then walked into the kitchen to put it in the sink. He then called for me and we walked into his bedroom where he searched through his draws for a few minutes. He finally found something and threw it at me. I looked at what he threw; it was one of his shirts.

"I would give you a pair of shorts to sleep in but I highly doubt they'd fit you around the waist. It's okay, that shirt'll cover everything"

I smiled "Kay". I walked towards the door so I could get changed in the bathroom.

"Bells?"

I turned around to face Jacob, who had his arms outstretched, asking for a hug. I walked into his arms and pressed my cheek against his chest. I felt so tiny stood against him, his arms could probably wrap around me completely. I could hear his heart beat with my ear against his chest. I placed my hand against it to feel it too. Everything about him was so warm, the way he smiled, the way he hugged. I could feel Jacob tighten the hug and rest his chin on the top of my head, he brought his hand up and moved a strand of my hair behind my ear. I looked up at him, he smiled softly again at me and ran his hands through my hair. He leant towards me and kissed my forehead, he didn't remove his lips for a few seconds, instead he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I started to feel slightly uncomfortable when he didn't pull away.

"Jake? Can I go change now?"

He sighed and nodded then released me from the hug.

* * *

**I'm finding my chapters are getting a little longer each time :P**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews I appreciate it so much –hugs- **

**I'd love more reviews, I want to know what you guys think. Also, any suggestions or ideas would be so loved, I'd give you credit if I use any ideas of course.**

**Thank you X**


End file.
